Still Single? These Common Reasons Could be the Culprit

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By: Krystle Crossman

Do you feel like all of your friends are getting married or settling into a serious relationship while you have been single for a long time? There may be a reason as to why you are still single. The good news is that these common issues are easy to fix and sometimes are just temporary.

1. You focus more on your career than you do on your love life. If you are always working you are not going to have a lot of time to go out dating. You most likely will not have much time for going to bars or clubs either like many other singles do. There is nothing wrong with focusing on your career but if you are feeling lonely and feeling like you need a relationship you may want to try to balance your work/life situation a little better.

I love to meet women who are focused on building their career. Key to me is “focus”. I say stay focused. But to build your love life takes a little bit of thinking outside the box. If you were to network a bit for your career I bit you’ll find someone who may be interested in dating you. Networking groups are everywhere. Can’t find any? Try Meetup and look for what your interest is and have fun.

2. There is no “perfect” guy. If you continue to add-on qualities that you feel that you should be finding in a man you will never find someone who meets the standards. Focus instead on the qualities that you are looking for in the relationship as opposed to the guy that you are looking for.

I find this to be true to a point. In my book I talk about this. It is the qualities that is important but it’s about what you want in your spouse and what changes you have to make to be a good spouse to them.

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3. You do not feel that you are worthy of having someone in your life who can love you. If you have confidence issues or have been hurt badly in past relationships you may not feel like you deserve to have someone else in your life. You also may feel like you don’t have any love that you can give out to someone because you still have lingering pain or other feelings from your last partner.

The way to get around this is to do what I said about and that is to work on being the kind of person that other would want to love. Work on being the best you possible and things will work out.

4. If you have a certain type of man who you like to be in a relationship with such as someone who likes music you should go to concerts or a music store to surround yourself with people who have similar interests. If you don’t want someone who is athletic going to the gym and looking for a partner there is just setting yourself up for a relationship that will not work.

That’s why I said what I said about having a career or business. The same principles apply.

5. You create expectations that are not realistic. Relationships are not like they are in the movies. If you expect them to be you are just setting yourself up for disappointment. Each relationship is different so try not to set standards for your relationships as compared to the relationships that your friends have.

Mastering You is about finding out who you are so that you can be the very best person you can be and the very best spouse you can be. No one else matters, just be the very best person you can be to you first and that always includes a spiritual life. Many people seem to forget that one part and wonder why they feel empty.

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About Mastering You

"Mastering You" is about helping African American's to see their value in this world. I post only positive stories and information about what African American's have contributed to society in the past and currently. I don't post anything about Sports, Entertainment, Religion, or Politics. I also don't post anything that has a negative spin. While I am aware that there are negative things happening all over the world and that most people focus on the above four topics when it comes to African American's that is not my goal. If all you heard was negativity about any race that's all you will come to expect from them and everything else will be out of the norm. My goal is to show everyone that the negativity is often out of the norm, or at best they are equal to the positive. Just like every other race.
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