9 Things You Should Do By Yourself Before Settling Down

In a recent 2015 survey, over one-third of married, engaged and couples in a committed relationship wished they had done at least one thing by themselves before settling down.  Wow!  It seems as though they always had either their friend(s) with them or a potential mate.  Well, we’ve got a list for you to do if you’re newly single again or just getting out there. Take a look and see what you’ve done (or haven’t done).


1. Go to the movies – This one seems easy but there are a lot of people who don’t do it because it makes them feel…I don’t know…weird?  But what’s weird about sitting in a movie theater by yourself laughing as loud as you want at a funny part of a movie or jumping frightening when it comes to a scary part.  Bottom line, this gives you a chance to be yourself. Shoot, even try to order yourself popcorn too!

2. Go out to eat – Eating by yourself at a restaurant (Gasp!) what will people think? Answer: Who freaking cares what they think!!  Go out and and enjoy a good meal by yourself. Buy yourself a drink, eat what you want.  Flirt with the waiter or waitress if you want.  Ask a whole bunch of questions about the menu that you wouldn’t ask if your friends were there.  Pretty much, don’t cheat yourself, treat yourself!

3. Go to a concert/event – This is a no-brainer for me.  If you want to find someone who likes what you like or just being around people as cool as you, go to things that you like!  It doesn’t matter if it’s a matchbox car convention or a comic book rally, just go! Have fun.  Sometimes we put too much stock in taking other people with us to validate who we are. Just do it.

4. Travel to a new place – Every time I tell someone this, they say what about this and the fear of going someplace alone? Simple answer: don’t go to any shady places! LOL. It’s that simple.  But the places you should go by yourself are places that you have studied, called, mapped out and actually want to go. If it always interests you, trust me, you will go there alone, but you won’t be alone–there is a huge difference.  Your interest will bring out the best in the people there and you’ll meet some super cool people who wouldn’t mind telling you the best places to go or even meet some life long friends.

5. Cook something new to eat – This goes both for men and women.  If you want to learn how to cook, you have to try it out sometime. And you don’t want to be THAT person who’s never been anywhere or never tried anything new to eat.  Trust me, dinner conversation about random tasty food can disarm any person and make them feel right at home wherever you are. Break out the dishes and get cooking!

6. Do something nice for someone without being told – When you you were younger, your mother or father probably told you to do things for your Grandma or the neighbor up the street, but when was the last time you did something without a celebrity saying it, or an infomercial telling you, or without an email telling you how bad someone else has it.  For once, just do something for someone in need–no questions asked.  There’s an old saying that states “A Giver Never Lacks For Anything.” Try it, you’ll see 😉

7. Create something – be it a piece of art, a bookshelf, a mural on a wall…get the feeling of creating something from nothing.  There’s nothing like being able to envision something from when it was literally nothing to see it come together by the power of your hands.  Do it–you’ll pat yourself on the back for it!

8. Visit a museum – There’s something about discovering something new in what was old.  You find out how you feel about something. If it evokes a certain memory–be it good or bad–it’s a feeling that you have and that’s worth something.  Plus, if you don’t like something, you find out that you don’t like and that is just as priceless as finding something that you do like.

9. Look in the mirror and tell yourself I love you – When was the last time you told yourself, yes you, that you love yourself?  For many of us its around 4 or 5 years since never. Before you go settling down with someone, make sure you love who you are first.  Your mate, whoever he or she will be, will have to love you, might as well help them out by loving yourself too.

I have been married for over 34 years and during the time I have been married I have done them all by my self. #4 Traveling to a new place by my self was maybe the most dangerous thing I did, but never the less I did it.

So, my point is I don’t think it matters if you are married or not. You still should be able to do somethings by yourself. It broadens your understanding and knowledge base. It is an education you simply can’t get when you are with others!

I am going to add one to this list.

10. Praying – You just simply will not understand this until you do it. To be by yourself, alone, no one around you and no one to hear what you say. Even if you are the kind of person that doesn’t believe in God. Try just yelling at Him and challenging Him to prove Himself to you or if you are a believer already, speaking to God out-load is the best thing you can do to clear the air of your own understanding. Just talk to God and express to Him anything and everything you have on your mind.

“There is freedom in the oral expressions of our worries and cares!” Max 


About Mastering You

"Mastering You, leads you to Understanding, Developing and Using the Master in You" Mr. Toliver teaches the "Process of Manifestation" as a vehicle that will allow people to master their inner self, through his book series called, "Mastering You". Having worked for more than 30 years as a social worker and as an entrepreneur he combines life experiences of overcoming depression, attempted suicides, managing additions, loss of friends from 9/11, his near death experiences and wraps them all up into talks that leaves every group spellbound. Connecting with his audiences through his animated, motivational and inspirational talks that are guaranteed to reach every group at every level. The process of manifestation focuses on honoring God and changing our thinking to gain success. Mr. Toliver teaches everyone how to overcome life's obstacles which clears a path to getting the things you want.
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